I originally penned this post on my birthday. Being born on January 2nd means that the New Year and my age turn over simultaneously, which gives me double pause for contemplation of life and outlook.
The book Quiet by Susan Cain, deeply impacted me and my outlook for 2014.
But before this discovery can broaden to real life consequences, I need to apologize. For being louder and bigger and wilder than I am, but mostly for accepting the idea that the introvert needs a lot of help and is somehow deficient. This is a myth perpetuated by an extrovert-biased culture, and I commit to taking no further part in spreading it.
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The first step is the apology the follows:
To my introverted brothers and sisters–
I know we’re often stuck inside the idea that it’s the charismatic, bold, gregarious rock stars who make the best leaders, thinkers, and otherwise successful humans. I’m sorry for trying to act like them, to be something I’m not, and sending the signal that this is indeed the model for which we all must strive.
A quiet voice has given me pause to reconsider this. I now challenge this idea as false.
This message is for all of us who have ever obsessively tried to fix our behaviors we’ve been told are “shy” or “antisocial” or “untalkative.” I’ve had my moments of twisting my outer expression of self into a vibrant and dazzling persona. It works for a while. Sometimes a little bit of pushing is exactly what the situation calls for.
But there’s a stronger pull, a higher calling for each of us to work from within our cores of quiet strength. Our thoughtful, careful, and strategic mannerisms have been mislabeled. We’re warriors too, the ones who ponder and plan, who write and muse.
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The second step is a declaration.
There is a healthy, prosperous, and influential place in our society for the soft-spoken who measure their words, for those who must prepare at length before a presentation, for those who prefer memorization to improvisation. I now believe firmly in this quiet power. I believe that if we can live from inside this place of genuine trueness, we will shine as warriors.
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The third step is to seek out and create places of quiet power in our lives. This means investigating workplace, social circles, and home ecosystems. I’ll give a personal example:
My bright lit, isolated home office is what I need for writing, prayer, and reflection. It’s something I must remember to guard with my life. My desire for intimate, thoughtful conversation with my friends means I need to seek out the small social gatherings that make this possible. The way visual harmony clears my mind means that keeping a beautiful home affects much more than the dust bunnies.
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I know I’m in good company with these ideas. A lot of us introverts flock toward reading and writing because of the simple truth that we thrive here.
So let’s thrive together, and do it with integrity.
Here’s to a New Year filled with self -discovery, deeper understanding, and plenty of quiet power.
by
Elise Stephens
Author of Forecast
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